This Bender Talking Figurine

Key stats:

                Replacement eye sets:2

                Inside his torso compartment: Nothing. Just empty. Yet not hollow…

                Number of phrases: 12

                Favorite phrases: “Goodbye losers, whom I’ve always hated!”

I got this at the Denver Comic-Con last year. I waited to buy it until the last day of the convention because I wasn’t convinced I wanted it. By the way, I am a fool, and we all know damn well I wanted this thing. Bad. My lovely wife was willing to wait with me for the doors to open then rush to the vendor selling it, knocking over a hoard of sweaty cosplayers and socially anxious teens, to lay down a pretty penny for this baby. And what a pretty penny it was. 

I initially thought I would keep this thing in the box. Collector’s yadda yadda and whatnot. But after a night of one too many cocktails, I couldn’t resist. Thing is awesome. It makes me feel like I bought Bender's spoken word album and got a bonus talking Bender figurine like in ‘Fear of a Bot Planet’. Good episode.

So here’s a breakdown of my analysis of this Bender Talking Figurine:

Funnyness: 8/10 quatloos – Some of the quotes are too long. You’re a talking figurine, not an episode.

Talking Piece-ability: 10/10 quatloos – “Oh cool a Bender toy!” has been said by house guests at least 16 times. Also, he's a literal talking piece. Teehee, puns.

Ass Shininess: 0/10 quatloos – Ass is disappointingly matte finished, belittling said catchphrase.

Don’t Touch My Stuffitude: 9/10 quatloos = KEITH SUPERVISION REQUIRED – I'll leave one quatloo on the table so you can touch the talking button. Otherwise, hands off! Like seriously, do not bend his arms; those things never get straight again.

Overall: 10/10 quatloos – Of all the Bender toys I own, this is the only one. And it’s the best one.