This Drax the Destroyer Collector's Pin

Key Stats:

• Diameter: 1 inch
• Drax Portrayed By: Dave Bautista
• Smells Like: Pennies

I was given this pin when I went to see Guardians of the Galaxy in theaters. I presume I received it sometime around August 1, since the pin says, "In Theaters August 1" on the the back. What a promotion!



They gave you one of the 5 Guardians of the Galaxy, which was great for all of you who saw the movie 5 times. I was very disappointed to get Drax. He's easily the lousiest of the Guardians of the Galaxy team. "Uhh we need a strong guy. What about this moron?" Why didn't they let him keep his totally awesome old-school costume with the purple cape? He has that one good line about being able to catch what goes over his head because his reflexes are too fast, but that's it. He's totally overshadowed by every other character. It's hard to be the boring one in a movie about a tree and his racoon friend. Space Thug #4 was more interesting than this guy. He also isn't quite as strong as the Hulk, and not quite as knive-y as Wolverine. He's the worst of both.

And finally, I am not in high school anymore. I'm no longer in a position in my life where I can cover my backpack in pieces of flair and maintain respect for myself.

So here’s my overall rating of this Drax the Destroyer Collector's Pin:

Fall Off Of What I Put It On-ity: 10/10 Things Caught Over Your Head Because Your Reflexes Are Too Fast – The point on this thing sticks into a rubber frog that easily slides off. What I want less than a Drax the Destroyer Collector's Pin is to have to look around the food court at the mall for the Drax the Destroyer Collector's Pin that fell off my backpack strap.

Short End Of The Straw-ibility: 10/10 Things Caught Over Your Head Because Your Reflexes Are Too Fast – Instead of the lovable-yet-tragic racoon, his cute tree pal, the deadliest woman in the galaxy, or an insanely hot Chris Pratt, I got Drax the Destroyer. 'Nuff said.

Eye-Catchy-ness: 0/10 Things Caught Over Your Head Because Your Reflexes Are Too Fast – Only when someone is looking at all the other cool stuff I own are they like, "Hey, is this a Drax the Destroyer Collector's Pin?" And I'm like, "Yeah, that's a Drax the Destroyer Collector's Pin. You want it?" And they're like, "No," followed by an awkward silence where we experience a psychic link only two people who understand why you wouldn't want a Drax the Destroyer Collector's Pin would comprehend.

Don’t Touch My Stuffitude: 0/10 Things Caught Over Your Head Because Your Reflexes Are Too Fast = YOU CAN'T TOUCH THIS ENOUGH – Seriously, I do not care. It's only saving grace is that it smells like pennies. You're curious now, right?

Overall Rating: 1/10 Things Caught While Going Over Your Head – Really not into this thing. But I apparently really enjoy the smell of pennies, so I can't give this thing a 0/10.